Inka Speech

[Raises Zen stick over head, then hits table with stick.]

Enlightenment is no enlightenment. No enlightenment is enlightenment.

[Raises Zen stick over head, then hits table with stick.]

No enlightenment. Not no enlightenment.

[Raises Zen stick over head, then hits table with stick.]

Enlightenment is enlightenment. No enlightenment is no …

Happy Buddha’s Birthday

When Buddha was born, he sprang out of his mother’s hip, walked seven steps, said, “Heaven above, earth below, only I am holy.”

[hits table with zen stick]

When you and I were born, we sprung from our mother’s uterus, dropped into the doctor’s arms, and screamed, “WAAAAAAAAH!”

[hits table …